Why I Tell My Kids They Are Already Enough
The Love That Heals: Why I Tell My Kids They Are Already Enough
Every week now, I tell my three kids the same thing:
I believe in you.
I love you.
You are enough.
You are worth it.
You are lovable — exactly as you are.
Why? Because in my work — and in the world — I see the damage that happens when those words are missing.
I see adults in my practice every day who carry a deep, silent belief:
I’m not lovable.
I’m not enough.
I have to earn love by achieving, pleasing, proving.
And it breaks my heart. Because no one should grow up thinking they have to do something to be loved. That’s not love — that’s performance.
🔹 From a Psychotherapy Perspective
In therapy, we see it clearly: many people’s core wounds aren’t about failure, shame, or even trauma at first glance — they’re about conditional love.
“I was loved when I was quiet.”
“I was praised when I achieved.”
“I was accepted only when I made others comfortable.”
So we internalize the message: Love must be earned.
But true healing starts when we begin to dismantle that belief. When we say:
“No. You are lovable as you are. Right now. Not later. Not if.”
And the best place to start that healing isn’t in adulthood. It’s at home, while they’re still young, before the world teaches them otherwise.
🔹 From a Personal Perspective: Reparenting the Lineage
I didn’t grow up with unconditional love as a daily practice. Many of us didn’t. So I have to work at it.
Not because I don’t love my children endlessly — but because it takes consciousness to break the old cycle. To notice when I’m reacting from conditioning, rather than presence.
Unconditional love isn’t a feeling — it’s a practice.
It’s choosing, over and over, to love:
Even when they’re loud.
Even when they’re not listening.
Even when they’re struggling.
It’s not permissiveness. It’s not “anything goes.”
It’s saying:
“I will hold you accountable, but I will never withhold love.”
That’s how we teach them they don’t have to perform to belong.
That who they are is already enough.
🔹 From a Soul Perspective: Love As a Birth right
Love is not a transaction. It’s not a reward.
It’s a birth right.
We are born of love, into love, and designed to love — not just give it, but receive it. Unconditional love says:
“You are loved regardless of what you do or don’t do, say or don’t say. You are loveable just by being.”
This is radical in a world that often measures worth in productivity, image, or perfection. But it’s the truth.
And I want my kids to hear that truth every single week — so often that it becomes their inner voice.
🔹 From a Quantum & Energy Perspective
On an energetic level, words have vibration. Beliefs have weight. And children — especially in their first 7 years — are literal sponges for emotional frequency.
When I speak those affirmations aloud to my children, I’m not just saying words.
I’m planting vibrational seeds.
And the soil is their subconscious mind.
I believe in you.
You are worthy.
You are already enough.
These statements become part of their energetic blueprint — shaping the way they see themselves and others for years to come.
🔹 Breaking the Cycle: The Real Revolution Starts at Home
I say these things to my kids not just because I love them — but because I know what happens when we don’t hear them.
I see the 40-year-olds who’ve spent a lifetime believing they’re not enough.
I see the marriages that crumble because no one learned to receive love, only to earn it.
I see the anxiety, the perfectionism, the people-pleasing, the inner war.
That cycle?
It ends here.
At the kitchen table.
At bedtime.
On the school run.
In the everyday moments when I choose to say:
You are worthy. Always.
You are lovable. Always.
You don’t have to earn love. You ARE love.
🔹 Final Word: Conditional Love Is the Way Backward
The world doesn't need more children who know how to perform.
It needs more children who know how to belong.
That starts with us. The cycle breakers. The conscious parents. The ones learning as we go.
We won’t always get it right. But we can always return to this truth:
Love doesn’t need to be earned.
Unconditional love is not weakness. It’s the deepest power there is.
And it’s the only kind of love that can truly set someone free.
Lots of love always,
Nicoline C Walsh
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